Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Life isn't always sunshine and roses. I think we can all agree on that. How we view ourselves and how we approach those obstacles in life can be the hardest things to overcome in making positive choices. Depression is something that I have struggled with, and although it is considered a low grade depression, it's an ongoing depression that has in a lot of ways crippled me.
The one area it has crippled me the most is taking care of myself. The self-loathing, self-doubt and lack of self-worth from that depression has kept me from achieving the healthy goals I have set for myself. From diet to exercise, to managing my diabetes and other health issues, it's an tug of war with myself that completely drains me of any physical and emotional actions.
One thing that I haven't done however, is given up. I have my good days, and my bad days, but I still try my hardest to "keep my eyes on the prize". Things that trigger my depression can be dealing with upsetting family or financial issues, seeing my weight on the scale, not being able to button that pair of jeans I just bought a month ago or most recently, losing people I love, either through their passing or moving away. I guess on the plus side, I recognize the triggers. The downside, I've yet to figure out how to not let them consume me in sadness.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that having goals is definitely positive. I can stumble and fall, but I can get back up and try each and every day to try to do something towards those goals. I know my depression affects those around me, as they don't know how to react or talk to me about it. It's easy to tell someone, "just do it"! Problem is, when you have chronic depression, it's not always in your control. That's not an excuse, that is a medical, physical and chemical fact. All I can do is keep seeking resources and courses of action to combat it.
What I am thankful for, however, is that I have people in my community and friends that are always so positive and pumped when it comes to making healthy choices and incorporating exercise and fitness into their daily and weekly routine. They are inspiring me and helping me more than they know. I can't list all of them, but collaboratively, they are a huge influence on my life. So for that, I thank them.
Hope y'all had a happy hump day! Peace out :)