Friday, February 27, 2009

win again!




Last night after work, I took Maddie for a walk since it was nice out, and figured I would head down 4th Street and go get Liam from his friend's house. I walk all the way down there just to find out that he had went on down 5th Street and headed home himself. Even though I would have walked the same distance either way, it did kind of bum me out, as I know that Liam likes taking walks with Maddie. It was exercise for the day anyway.

We had some dinner, and then got ready for his game. Per usually JG Green kicked butt, and are still undefeated. Liam was fouled and got to try for two freethrow shots. He missed them, but my buddy Drew got some great pics of it. He also did some rebounding of missed shots and tried twice for more baskets. I think it was the most he's ever gotten his hands on the ball in a game. Usually the poor kid is just sprinting back and forth on the court blocking and never really gets a chance to shoot the ball. His principal was there, and just made me scowl. Only some people know the whole story of what transpired this week and last Friday, so you'll undertand why I have reservations toward him. Well, reservations is putting it lightly. But I digress. It was a great game, and I was excited for Liam.

We came home, and settled in for a bit, and both headed off to bed. Probably the most I've slept in a while, but awoke to this cold, rainy, icky weather. And it's only supposed to get colder this weekend. I cannot WAIT for warmth and sunshine!!

Well, back to the grind. Have a great day all :)

Thursday, February 26, 2009

discipline

Use Discipline

Discipline is one of your most powerful tools. Use it to your advantage. Discipline is nothing more than controlling your own behavior. And you've been doing that your whole life. You have the power to make your own choices and to follow those choices. So make those choices the ones that will raise your life to greater and greater heights. Every day you have the opportunity to grow stronger. Every moment you have the opportunity to make solid progress. Use the discipline that is yours to seize those opportunities. Exercise the sweet control over your own actions that will bring great fulfillment to your days. In discipline is enormous power to which you already have access. Choose to use it, again and again, and there is no limit to the rewards it will bring.

-- Ralph Marston

kudos judge!!

Anti- cross judge cleared

''It's either me in the courtroom, or crosses''.

Anti- cross judge cleared Luigi Tosti vows to continue battle

(ANSA) - L'Aquila, February 17 - An Italian judge campaigning against the presence of crosses in public buildings on Tuesday got a jail conviction quashed for refusing to enter courtrooms unless crucifixes were removed.

Italy's supreme court overturned judge Luigi Tosti's May 2007 seven-month sentence for refusing to carry out his official duties.

Tosti called the sentence ''an important one'' and vowed to carry on his battle.

''It's either me in the courtroom, or crosses''.

The court prosecutor had argued for leniency, saying that since Tosti was replaced by another judge, he should get a new trial on the minor charge of disrupting judicial activity.

But the Cassation Court judges went further and issued a full acquittal, saying that ''no crime was committed''. Tuesday's hearing took place with no crosses in the room.

Tosti, 60, has already had one ban and is currently serving another for refusing to sit in a courtroom in the Marche town of Camerino.

He has repeatedly refused to take part in proceedings unless the cross in the courtroom was taken down and ''the secular nature of the assembly restored''.

The Italian judiciary's self-governing body, the Supreme Council of Magistrates, removed Tosti from his post in February 2006 and cut off his pay because of his ''unjustifiable behaviour''.

The decision, which reignited debate on crucifixes in public buildings, came after Tosti was convicted by a criminal court a month before.

SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE AT STAKE, JUDGE SAYS.

Crucifixes are not mandatory but customary in Italy's public buildings.

Catholicism is not Italy's state religion and the separation of Church and State is set down by the postwar Constitution and mandated by a 1984 Concordat that ended most of the Catholic Church's privileges.

In practice, with Catholicism being such a part of Italy's cultural identity, local bodies decide whether they want crosses in the courthouse.

Similar arrangements are in place in other public buildings - most notably schools, where there have been a raft of polemics.

Judge Tosti first made headlines in April 2004 when he threatened to place symbols of his own Jewish faith, like the menorah candle-holder, in his Camerino court.

He later changed his mind after the Union of Italian Muslims (UMI) went to Camerino to demonstrate their support for his initiative.

The UMI is headed by Adel Smith who for some time has been in the public spotlight for his campaign to have crosses removed from schools and hospitals.

In 2003 Smith won a court order for the removal of crosses at the school his children attended. The order was later reversed after a nationwide protest.

Judge Tosti insists that defendants have the constitutional right to refuse to be tried under the symbol of the cross.

The Constitution, he says, establishes the separation of Church and State and gives equal status to all religions.

This means that judges and lawyers can refuse to perform their duties under the symbol of the cross which would violate a defendant's right to a fair trial and counsel, he argues.

However, the Constitutional Court ruled in December 2004 that crosses should stay in courts and classrooms.

The Court did not give a juridical explanation for its ruling, and many felt it had washed its hands of a political hot potato.

If it had upheld the separation of Church and State, the high court would have sparked outraged reactions from conservatives who were already incensed when some schools dropped Christmas plays and creches to avoid hurting thefeelings of Muslim children.

The row even prompted a reaction from Pope John Paul II, who stressed that Christmas cribs were a part of Italy's Catholic heritage.



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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

feels great!

I almost forgot the rush and the energy working out gives me! After going to kickboxing class with Wendy last night, I'm feeling so great this morning! I'm not sore, which is definitely a good thing, so I'll be able to workout at home tonight while my son is at practice.

We had such a blast, but were giggling almost the whole time, because we kept messing up, but like the instructor said... mistakes burn calories!! haha.

I wish I could go to the Zumba latin dance workout, but right now they have it in the mornings, and I'm at work at that time. Wendy says they switch up the schedules with the seasons, so hopefully they will offer that at night as well during the spring or summer months, cuz that would be so great!

I can't wait to go back next week!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

anti-bullying, my ass

There are supposed to be anti-bullying regulations in PA schools. Unfortunately, if your child waits to actually speak up about it, they treat it as the first case, and will not backdate and look at the course of the school year.

All I have to say is the Principal at my son's school is a fucking prick. He was a prick to me, to my son's stepmom, and seems to like to point the finger at parents instead of making himself accountable for what happens in his schools. The only reason why he gives two shits now is because Dawn went above his head, and now his boss is on his ass.

To this asshole, may I point out, you may have had your stomach stapled, or bypass or whatever to make yourself thinner, but to those that know you, or have had the misfortune of being in the schools you were in, you'll always be a fat fucking dick!!

*curtsies* Thank you for your time :)

Monday, February 23, 2009

best actor, great humanitarian


Sean Penn mentioned that protesters who lined the streets of Hollywood near the Oscar festivities were holding anti-gay signs. When introducing, Sean Penn, Robert De Niro said, "How did he do it? How for so many years did he get all those jobs playing straight men?"

Sean Penn, upon accepting the Best Actor Academy Award for his portrayal of the slain San Francisco Supervisor and gay rights leader Harvey Milk, "I think it's a good time for those who voted for the ban against gay marriage to sit and reflect on their great shame and their shame in their grandchildren's eyes if they continue that support. We've got to have equal rights for everyone."

Backstage, when asked what Penn would tell those protesters if he could, he answered, "I'd tell them to turn in their hate card and find their better self."

--------

kudo's to you Sean!!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

the daily motivator

Stick this link into your Favorites file, or put it on your google or yahoo start page. A wonderful way to start each day :)

http://greatday.com/motivate/index.html

cheers!

ignorance is bliss

I guess I will never understand some people. I'm not sure if it's because I cannot see things on their level, or that I refuse to go to their level. I guess I have to give some credit to my family upbringing, as some of their christian views of "do unto others" really stuck with me. I've always treated people, even my enemies, better than they would ever think of treating me. I know I'm a good person, with a compassionate heart, and a good head on her shoulders. True there may be things in my life that some don't agree with, or couldn't see doing themselves, but then again, it makes me all the more tolerable and understanding of people and their place in my life.

I think sometimes people see me as this pillar of strength, but I do have feelings, and I hurt and get hurt. I usually rationalize things to make them easier to cope with, but in no way does it mean that I'm not capable of getting my heart broke.

I'm a vault when it comes to people's privacy, and I've always lent an ear, or a shoulder, and been a mother hen in a way to friends because sometimes, they need to hear from someone else what they are already thinking themselves. Doesn't matter who's friends with who, or friends with me and not them, it just doesn't matter. I won't discuss someone else's business. If it directly affects ME, then yeah, I will, but things that have no effect on me or my life, marriage, child, etc., it's all trivial to me, and kept in complete confidence. When friends are down, I always try to get them to see the brighter side to life, even if it's only a dim hue in the corner. Just getting them to smile when they've been crying, I know in that moment, I made them feel good.

I don't get off on making people miserable. I don't get off on watching people suffer, or beat them when they are already down. Seems to be a trend around here, and I seriously do NOT get it. What do they get out of it? Some sick twisted pleasure? Something that makes them feel better about their own insecure lives?

I'm rambling now... ugh!! Like I said, I'll never get it. I'll never comprehend it, and in this case, ignorance IS bliss!!!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

It's all about attitude

I think all of us know at least one person or persons that need to start viewing life in this regard..........

"Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think, say or do. It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes."

~ Charles Swindoll

Monday, February 16, 2009

working out sucks!!

Man am I outta shape!!!! I lasted only 20 minutes of my 45 minute workout video. I knew it would be tough, but not THAT tough starting up again. Although I let Ryan pick which tape, and I hadn't done this one before, and it ended up being one that used weights, and I am NOT good with weight stuff at ALL for long durations. I can already feel that I'm going to be sore in the morning.

The boss didn't talk to me today about my raise, because the schools were off, so he had appointments from the time he got in to after the time I left. From what he briefly said Friday, knowing that Vday was my 4 yr. work anniversary, he's thinking about just putting me on salary. Easier on me, and easier on his books, and we don't have to worry about vacation pay, sick pay, etc, it will just be all inclusive. I'll also get incentive bonuses for each new auto policy I bring on board, to try to motivate me into upping the sales for the office, as well as bring in some extra cash for myself. I just passed my 24 credits to renew my state license, so I'm good to go for another 2 years. I hate that whole system. Nothing but more money for the state and more money to put in the pockets of these companies that administer the tests.

Anywho, after BSing with Chell on AIM for a bit, I think I'm gonna get the boy to bed and hit the sack myself. I know it's early, but I definitely feel the need for sleep! Ciao for now!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

trying to turn depression into motivation

Well, this weekend was a complete bust. Friday started off great with finding out I was getting my car back from the shop a whole day early, and then just went downhill from there. I started getting sick to my stomach, and by that evening was a complete mess. I had to cancel going to the movies with my bestest bud Steve, which really bummed me out.

The next morning, after being up and down all friggin' night, I had to finally motivate myself to clean and start cooking dinner, because Ry had invited his mom over for dinner for her birthday Saturday night. By 5pm, I was actually starting to feel much better, but I was so exhausted I was actually dizzy, and ended up blowing off the Vampire's Ball and Steve's bday celebration at Aldo's. I'll have to make it up to Steve somehow, because I feel just horrible about it.

Then, today was watching a show today, and someone on the show mentioned dedicating something to their brother who passed away, and I just lost it. I don't know if from being so tired, I was just weak and vulnerable, but I just started crying, missing Mark. There are always so many things that go through my head wondering if anything could have changed the course of events, and I bring it back on myself sometimes of maybe if I would have called him, just to say hi, or check up on him, or whatever. Throughout our lives, Mark and I never really had one-on-one time, but I think privately, we both knew what each other went through, but never could find the words to comfort or confide in each other. Problem is, these thoughts will never go away. Even though I'm able to talk about it openly with people and not get emotional, there are days, like today, that I just break down out of no where, and it can be the smallest of triggers that induce it.

An hour later, I'm studying for my test to renew my state insurance license, and the tv was on for just noise, and that show "Made" was on, and it was about cheerleaders. Watching them bounce around, backflips, splits, the confidence and smiles. Again, tears. Tears of being so pissed off at myself for not taking care of myself, and eating right, and working out, and letting my body get this way. I'm so scared of getting up to 190 again or worse, but for some reason, I can't find the motivation during the week to do so.

I miss how in shape I was. I miss how athletic I was. Volleyball, softball, water polo, soccer, diving, cheer and pon squads. I miss the toned, fit body I used to have. Ironically back then, I thought I was such a heffer, but now I see the beauty I truly was on the outside, as well as the inside, and how the years and years of insecurity never allowed me to see it. How I allowed my pregnancy and the diabetes overtake my body and turn it into something some people didn't even recognize anymore.

I know.. just do it, right? Get back on track, get back in the game of life and change it. It's so hard when you've motivated others, and then you are left in a position where you can't even motivate your damn self!! I really have to start a commitment to myself to change. Even if it's little by little. I know I have it in me, as I've done it before. I just gave up somewhere along the way.

Anyway, Ry headed out with Liam to get him his new video game he wanted with his Toys R Us gift card and the money he got for Valentine's Day and for his report card, and I'm doing laundry.. fun stuff!! Better get back to it before I becoming totally unmotivated.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

what to do

What do you do when you find out a friend that's been depressed for a while went on a drug binge recently? Do you step in, tell mutual friends and risk your trust and friendship with that person, hoping they realize you only did it because you are worried and care about their mental and physical health and wellbeing? Do you pray that this was a one time deal and they told you about it so they could just get it off their chest and move on?

I'm so confused right now. Being a good friend is about keeping their secrets. They trust and confide in you, but at what point are you being an enabler to their destructive habits by keeping silent? In poking around, I've found I'm the only person that they told. It's weighing heavy on my heart, because on one hand I'm worried, but on the other, I feel a bond because they felt the need to confess to me and only me, when they have other friends that they are closer to. I know though the other friends would just rip them a new asshole about it, and from the sound of it, it was just a relapse, but that they've done it in the past as well.

I guess I'm hoping for another chance to just talk with this person one on one, to find out if it truly was a one time thing, or if it now has led to more. I want to call them, or drop by and check in on them, but I'm so afraid of them seeing me as being nosey instead of being a concerned friend.

I've seen what depression can do, as my brother's suicide was an end result to his. Sometimes I think it would weigh better on the minds of my parents had he been under the influence of something, but his toxicology report came back clean. Much easier to say.. oh he was drunk, or he was high, but he was neither. It was full blown depression. I know this person does what they do because of depression, but how do you get them to recognize it to the point they accept help? To get them to stop with drugs and alcohol to try to numb it all, when all it does is make it worse, yet they refuse to see it that way?

I just don't know what to do.. which way to go, or who/what I can turn to for answers.