Emotional Evening...

As many of you know, Dylan Thomas was born February 25th at 3:23am, weighing in a 7lbs 14oz and 20.5". There were a lot of complications leading up to his delivery, and many since. Right now though he's doing great. All his vitals are right on point, and so now the only thing is to teach him to drink and take in his milk on his own, as he's been on a feeding tube for almost 2 weeks now. Once he accomplishes that, we'll be able to bring him home. His original due date is in a week, and I wish so much we can make progress with his feedings so that he can be home with me instead of driving to the NICU of the hospital 2-3 times a week.

The hubby went back to work on base today, so it was a long and lonely day. I want so much for my baby boy to be home, so I can care for him here. I know this is all in his best interest, and health, but the selfish side of me just wants to snatch him from that crib and take him home with me.

I've healed up great from the c-section, so much so, that I want to start up my exercise regimen ASAP. I have my post delivery doc appointment tomorrow, so hopefully she'll be able to give me the green light on at least starting up something slowly. I know it's only been 2 1/2 weeks, but I physically feel great, and really think that the exercise will help with counteracting the overwhelming depression I've been feeling these past few weeks. It's so hard being a mom, but not having either of your boys home with you, and then with the hubby going back to work, this house feels so empty.

My first baby boy is doing great out at his dad's. Bringing up his grades, and for the most part, trying to stay out of trouble. He'll be coming out here the first week of June and staying until mid-July, because he has to go back to Wisconsin for football practice. I can't wait for him to meet his little brother, Dylan!! I've also picked up tickets for me and him to see his favorite band Disturbed, as well as Godsmack, Megadeth and others this summer at the Mayhem Festival at the Idaho Center. It's a few days before he heads back home, so it will be our last little fling before our summer together ends.

I just really needed to vent a little, because it's been heartbreaking every morning and night that I have to leave the NICU and leave Dylan behind. Hopefully he will be home by the time my parents get here on the 3rd of April. I want to be able for them to enjoy their time with us and him, instead of trecking up to the hospital every day.

Anyway, I guess I'll go for now. Dylan, Mommy loves you so much, and wants you here where you belong.


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