Don't get me wrong, I love helping others, getting involved, making people smile and knowing I had a part in making their lives just a tad easier. The problem I have is being on the receiving end of that help. It's a hard habit to break. You smile and act tough, turning down much appreciated gestures of kindness, but you think to yourself, "I got this", or in a lot of cases you feel that you don't want to push your burdens and responsibilities on others. This is the life I choose and it's on me to keep it going. Especially now, with the husband deployed, there is that internal want and need to express strength and determination, the picture of keeping it all together, when the truth is, things are falling behind and quite frankly, apart.
You get moments to yourself and you end up falling asleep from pure exhaustion instead of hitting up that "to do list" that you've been ignoring. Things come up that take you away from the routine that you set for yourself. It's hard, but you keep on keeping on, because... that's what you do, right?
So here are some updates for those that may not be on my personal FB feed:
- Weight loss has been at a stand still. Although I was certified as a Zumba instructor and going for my basic 2 training at the end of this month, I fell off the workout grid since April when I took on more classes at school and the husband deployed. I need to reassess myself and make some S.M.A.R.T. goals for myself. I have been stuck at 170lbs for months and I would like to drop at the minimum, 20 lbs.
- I will be graduating in August with my Bachelors in Nutrition Science. It's been 4 years of hard work and determination, and I can finally say that I finished something I started. I will most likely go for my Masters in Health Education once I get a job and my youngest starts school. It's been too hard to wrap up my current degree with a crazy toddler running around driving mommy insane.
- One goal that I am making for myself is getting my ACE certification for group fitness. I am also looking to get AFAA certified with a kickboxing certification as well. These certifications will be more about having the extra money to get certified, because I've already had most of the education in my last 4 years at Kaplan.
My youngest is now 3 and my oldest is 16, so it's quite the age difference to plan things the whole family enjoys, but I'm trying to do my best this summer to keep them both active and outside as much as possible. I really need to get back on track and start loving and doing for myself again.
I came upon this quote this evening, which inspired me to blog, and it truly says it all.
"Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world." - Lucille Ball