Depression and Craving a Healthy Lifestyle

Life isn't always sunshine and roses.  I think we can all agree on that.  How we view ourselves and how we approach those obstacles in life can be the hardest things to overcome in making positive choices.  Depression is something that I have struggled with, and although it is considered a low grade depression, it's an ongoing depression that has in a lot of ways crippled me.

The one area it has crippled me the most is taking care of myself.  The self-loathing, self-doubt and lack of self-worth from that depression has kept me from achieving the healthy goals I have set for myself.  From diet to exercise, to managing my diabetes and other health issues, it's an tug of war with myself that completely drains me of any physical and emotional actions.

One thing that I haven't done however, is given up.  I have my good days, and my bad days, but I still try my hardest to "keep my eyes on the prize".  Things that trigger my depression can be dealing with upsetting family or financial issues, seeing my weight on the scale, not being able to button that pair of jeans I just bought a month ago or most recently, losing people I love, either through their passing or moving away.  I guess on the plus side, I recognize the triggers.  The downside, I've yet to figure out how to not let them consume me in sadness.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that having goals is definitely positive.  I can stumble and fall, but I can get back up and try each and every day to try to do something towards those goals.  I know my depression affects those around me, as they don't know how to react or talk to me about it.  It's easy to tell someone, "just do it"!  Problem is, when you have chronic depression, it's not always in your control.  That's not an excuse, that is a medical, physical and chemical fact.  All I can do is keep seeking resources and courses of action to combat it.

What I am thankful for, however, is that I have people in my community and friends that are always so positive and pumped when it comes to making healthy choices and incorporating exercise and fitness into their daily and weekly routine.  They are inspiring me and helping me more than they know.  I can't list all of them, but collaboratively, they are a huge influence on my life.  So for that, I thank them.

Hope y'all had a happy hump day!  Peace out :)

Taking Care of Me for a Change

It's the scenario we hear all the time.  Moms taking care of everyone else and not herself.  I admit that I'm definitely one of those.  Not only my family, but others in my community.  Doing for others, and not for myself.  I recently backed off from a lot of the volunteer commitments I had made and have been trying to focus on myself for a change.  As you may or may not know, I'm a type 2 diabetic.  It's been a struggle for me since I was 24 years old when I first was diagnosed with gestational diabetes while pregnant with my oldest.  Health psychology and my inability to adhere to medical advice has been a definite struggle as well, and I'm trying my best to tackle them with a more positive outlook.

For instance, I was recently diagnosed with dysthymia.  It's a low grade chronic depression, and it's suspected I've had it since I was a teen.  I can definitely look back over the years and agree with that.  I've never been diagnosed or treated for depression, although I have suspected it.  Not only does it affect my mood, but it affects the way I care for myself.  This is something that I need to start being proactive about because it's affecting my attitude toward my diabetes.  I have to push the "don't give a crap" attitude and start taking care of myself and staying on top of my meds and exercise.

Secondly, there is the fact that while getting my body back on track, the Metformin messes with me, and I have almost all the side effects, minus the headaches:

• Diarrhea -- occurring in up to 53.2 percent of people
• Nausea or vomiting -- in up to 25.5 percent
• Gas -- in up to 12.1 percent
• Weakness -- in up to 9.2 percent
• Indigestion -- in up to 7.1 percent
• Abdominal discomfort (or stomach discomfort) -- in up to 6.4 percent
• Headache -- in up to 5.7 percent.
• 
  

This is not fun, and ironically, I had my Health Psychology class last semester, and it made me recognize one of the reasons I don't adhere to my medication is that my mind and body would rather deal with the long term unseen effects of diabetes than deal with the very real symptoms and side effects from my medication.  True that over time, these side effects will slowly fade away, but I just had the week from hell while my body adjusted, and I missed out on some good times with friends and family this weekend.  I need to start dealing with the immediate and get past my own self so that I can live a healthier lifestyle and prolong my life here on earth for my boys.  

I just reached 40 years in August, and I would love to have 40 more.  I won't be able to do that on the path I've been choosing.  There are so many people out there that inspire me.  Recently my friend Carrie, as I've seen her on her journey on a return to health and happiness, and I realized that no matter how much I may fail at my attempts to get back on my own track of those things, I need to keep getting back up and not let it keep me down.  

It's a struggle, but I can't let it get the best of me.  I have to rise up and overcome.  I have to start focusing on me for a change.  I have to start saying "no" so that I can say "yes" to life and longevity. 

Before Workout Goodies

The body needs to have energy to move and do things that is required of it.  Energy sources come from the three macronutrients - carbohydrates, proteins and fats.  Carbohydrates are the number one and most important and essential source of energy for the body.  Carbohydrates work in the body more effectively in sports, working out and exercise than protein and fat because it can be metabolized aerobically as well as anaerobically.  They give a more overall steady source, and should be 70% of a competitive and training regimen and diet.  Here are some great ideas to help kickstart your workouts (click picture to enlarge):

Fink, H., Burgoon, L., & Mikesky, A. (2009) Practical Applications in Sports Nutrition (2nd Edition). Sudbury, MA.  Jones and Barlett Publishers.  

Happy 40th to Me!

In the years to come, when one son moves onto college, while the other finally enters kindergarten, I want to look back and see my 40th birthday as a major turning point in my life.  There have been so many things going on with me and my little family in the past few months that only a few handful of people know about, and the stress and the depression got to me.  My food addiction took over and I went up in weight and enough in size that things I just bought in spring no longer fit me.  It's a harsh reality, but it's also one that I need to quit complaining about and doing something about.  It's all about putting my knowledge, desire and passion into action for myself.  Helping others is awesome, but putting myself on the backburner while doing so isn't good for my health, my well-being, nor my family.

I started Les Mills Combat yesterday and I started tearing up during my workout because I could feel and hear fat slapping on fat.  Maybe that's a little TMI, but it was enough to trigger such disappointment and emotion in me to make me cry.  It can take a lot to make me cry, and when most see me cry, it's usually for joy, and not because I'm feeling sorry for myself.

Today I feel a renewed energy and have set goals for myself.  Workout goals, nutrition goals and making time for myself to better my health and stop worrying about everyone else.  I need to stop rewarding myself with food.  Being diabetic with other health issues, it's really not something that helps me.  I can be my own worst enemy, even with all my training and education, having a food addiction can screw all that up for me.

Here's to becoming a new me - one that's more focused, fit, and uses food for fuel and not feeding feelings!!  Look out 40!!!  I'm gonna kick some ass this year!

Meatless with the Mostest

Making meatless dishes isn't that difficult.  In fact a lot of dishes that I find are quick and simple and taste amazing!

I subscribe to Cooking Light, so not only do I get their magazines, but I get emailed links to some great recipes and this has to be one of the best compilations of meatless recipes that I have found in a long time.  No need to search the internet for them, when there are 100 Crazy-Good Vegetarian Recipes right here!!

You can just browse through and click on the recipe you'd like to try out for yourself or your family!!  It's easy!

Hope you have a fabulous Monday and an awesome week!

Cheryl