Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Missing him

I haven't really felt like writing in a while, because I've been pretty down since Liam left. I even put off calling him last week, and waited until this past Sunday, and even then, I had to let him go because I started to cry, and didn't want him to hear me, or feel guilty or sad for me. Luckily work has been busy, and there's been a lot going on on the weekends. Sunday between calling my dad for Father's Day, and knowing how much he's missing Mark. They spent the day with Mark's daughter Hannah, who had to jump on the phone with me and catch me up on all the latest stuff she's been doing. My dad seems very sympathetic to Liam moving to his father's, and broken down crying on the phone to me last week as well. I know it comes from a place where he knows how short life can be, and I should be embracing every moment I can with Liam, because you never know what can happen.

Some of my friends have sent emails, text messages and such checking up on me last week. I guess I'm a pretty strong individual, and when it comes to matters with my son, I'm pretty vulnerable. I'm sure there are a lot of people like that. Most see me as the type of person that can get through anything. A lot have never heard or seen me cry. I'm a baby when it comes to my kid. Hell, my eyes are watering just writing this.

I need to get out of this funk and get back to working out everyday, as right now, it's just been sparatic, and nothing really challenging. I'm not gaining, but I'm not losing. Been taking our new puppy Bear and dog Maddie for walks around the neighborhood a lot. Helps calm them down in the evening, and the more I walk them, the better they are at keeping in line. Gives me something to do.

Oh well, before I start really sounding down and depressed, I'm gonna get back to work here. Hope everyone had a nice weekend, and enjoys this week. Ciao for now!

4 comments:

  1. Hang in there Cher! Hugs to you! :)

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  2. I did not realize your son went to live with his dad. It must be very hard. Working out can sometimes help you get thru these things. I know it does not seem like it at the time but it got me thru both my parents deaths.. kind of an escape.

    HUGS TO YOU!

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  3. Hi Cher. I, too, did not realize you went through some family changes. I'm very sorry for the pains you are feeling now. I will also pray for you (and I mean that).

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