Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Needing Some Luck of the Irish
Well, this morning started off with a visit to my dietician. I know that it wasn't going to go well, as I haven't stuck to my regimen and calorie counts, and even though I've started exercising, I knew that the scale wouldn't lie about what I'd been doing. In two months, I found the 6 pounds I had lost, plus one. That's right. A 7 lbs gain in two months. I can't even imagine what it would have been if I hadn't started exercising!! I waited a little bit before blogging about his, because I spent some of the time this morning crying when I got to work and after talking to the hubby.
I get so frustrated with myself. I'm such a fricken plethora of knowledge on what it takes to lose and maintain my health and fitness and my blood sugar readings, so why is it so damn hard to execute that knowledge?!?!
So, again, we sat down and wrote down some specific goals. She wants me to get more protein in the morning and at lunch. She feels this will help with late night cravings, which have been a terrible weak spot. We also agreed that at night if I feel the need to snack, try to divert it by doing an activity, little bit of housework, or even exercise. This will also help with trying to quit smoking as well. She wants me food journaling again, because she knows (and so do I) that my calories are not within what they should be. I have to kick up the exercise, and consciously make an effort at home, since I can't afford a gym membership at this time. I'll still do my kickboxing class with Wendy, but I have to start getting my ass up in the morning and getting at least 15 to 30 minutes before work, so that if life gets crazy after I get home, I've gotten SOMETHING in.
I have to admit, I felt like a failure sitting in that chair this morning. Leaving there, I felt so distant and down on myself. Really didn't want to talk to anyone about it. I know the changes that need to be made, and I know that I'm the only one that can do it. No one can do it for me. I have to want it. I have to recommit myself every morning, every day and make myself accountable for the negative I put my body through. Gotta be like NIKE and JUST DO IT!!