One of the local bars in town started an annual "Prom" for us older kids. Last year I didn't get the chance to go, but this year, even though the hubby wasn't into it, me and a dozen or so of my friends got all dressed up and headed out to the event this year. What a blast! (That's me posing with one of my bestest buds Barno at the little photo opt thing they had set up.) I did end up consuming some alcohol, but I didn't hit the buffet table at all, so I did save a lot of calories there. My blood sugars were actually pretty good when I got home, but I contribute that to all the dancing I did. I joked that I think there were only 5 songs in that 3 1/2 hour span I wasn't shakin' my ass too! LOL
People took pics galore, and while I'm shuffling through them, it really hit me on how just the 15 lbs I had gained since going back on insulin looked on me. I actually started crying as I was going through them. Seeing the weight back on me was horrifying to me. This photo was to me one of the more acceptable ones. My husband, hearing me sniffling from his room asked if I was okay, and I told him why I was crying. He told me he thought I looked amazing Saturday night, but he would love me no matter what size I was. To me, I felt like a failure. A failure to myself and to my health.
I've vowed to print out some of the more "unflattering" pictures people took of me dancing/posing from that night and pinning them in front of my treadmill and on the refrigerator. It may seem drastic, but I need to come up with some way to push myself harder. To want to keep going, so that I can look at pictures of myself and be proud of my accomplishments, not see what a slacker I've been. I have to promise myself that I will get back on track, and get more strict with my food intake and workout routine.
On a more positive note, we had a blast! Everyone looked so amazing, and damn do we clean up good!! hahaha! We're all getting geared up for Crusher's birthday bash this coming Friday, which I already know I can't have anything to drink because of a fasting blood test in the morning, so I'll be lil miss sober sister, and Crusher's designated driver for the evening.
I do hope this week I'll be able to see a change in my determination to get fit and love myself again. I need to do this for me! Nite folks.